January 2010
118 posts
RT @kellyoxford: 2010 is the new 2009.
I didn’t tweet, nor did I have a celphone. #10yearsago
Both 2008 & 2009 are gone & good riddance! Here’s to 2010 being more like 2007… You know, FOR ME!
December 2009
134 posts
I love biographies. I hope I have one someday.
Let me know if there’s any parties tonight- I just feel like going out, you know?
My New Years Resolution? No Resolutions for 2010! I hope I’m resolved enough not to break it.
RT @PFTompkins: Hey, it’s a filmed sketchlet! Starring me & Mad Men’s Rich Sommer! Don’t be a-skeered! http://bit.ly/7ckBcd
Being back at work is like pity fucking an ex. I’d rather be sleeping.
Saw “It’s Complicated” & I’d explain it to you, but it’s… well hard to explain, it’s convoluted & a tangled plot of unsimpleness.
Even with all the “It’s great” talk, Avatar still seems too Phantom Menacey to me & I have no desire to see it.
It has been said that Twitter is a great way to start a rumor about a celebrity’s death. Therefore, #ripkeyboardcat
Ahhh, the one week of the year that I can justify eating & living like slob, because I have a whole new year “to change”.
There will always be excuses to be bad & reasons to be good.
Every Snowflake is unique & different, except for the ones mass manufactured in the snowflake factory.
Or a paper made of scissors?! RT @amandablaze do you know how invincible you would be if you owned a pair of scissors made of stone?
Vegas: the one place where old dudes can get young hot chicks to accept drinks bought for them. …wait, that’s anyway
An English woman just told me she suspects I’m Superman.
I love how u can see the “sex icons” check their watches as they sex us up.
Well, I’m drinking & gambling at the MGM.
It’s a race: me vs my flight at 9am vs nowhere to sleep vs in Vegas vs I’m drinking! Who’s gonna win?!?!
Tweeters! The sad lions at MGM are bumming me out- where should I go next? Hooters is right across the street.
PS: my favorite thing thusfar: http://yfrog.com/4fqpmgj
As one flight is delayed & I miss the next flight, it seems what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas… & so do I.
After this Christmas, I’ll be dreaming if a Hawaiian Vacation! Snow doubt about it!
Amazing- I’m in a HyVee in Nebraska & they are playing “I wanna be your boyfriend” by the Ramones
Me too! RT @breagrant @sergiocilli I just saw ur Verizon commercial!
It’s a Wonderful Life: http://www.hulu.com/watch/115719
What floats my boat? Water.
I’m convinced, fake snow is better than real snow.
RT @Apey: “Mr. Show” predicted the future again: http://www.flickr.com/photos/april2/4212116980/
In an effort to keep golf in the news, the PGA is having all it’s golfers get into fights with their spouces tomorrow. Merry Xmas!
Finally watched “Up” and finally gets all the “…that movie should of been called ‘Down’” jokes.
Pretty snowy http://yfrog.com/4ggfbij
Snowy http://yfrog.com/3545983563j
Just thought of a Far Side cartoon- a dyslexic Native American making an upside down totem pole. Gary Larsen still draws those, right?
RT @paulbonanno: Have your Xmas socks rocked off by @nerdist @jonahray @elibraden @anniehardy @brendonwalsh @DanaDearmond @RobHuebel htt …
Re-Opening Cold Case #1225
Detective’s Log - Wednesday, 12/23/2009
As I was doing our precinct’s annual moving of case files from the past year that went unsolved to the cold case file room in the basement, I accidently came across Cold Case #1225, the accidently death of Mrs. Patsy Shropshire. Mrs. Shropshire was survived by her husband, Elmo Shropshire and their extended family. Mrs. Shropshire was...
A few Christmas Eves’ back, Grandma was run over by Grandpa! I can prove Grandpas’ story doesn’t add up! A reindeer?! Come on!!!
Being a hipster in LA, CA does not a hipster in GI, NE make.
Driving on ice is like riding a bike… on ice.
Laura is well-spoken
lauramenorah:
Sheena is a punkrocker trust fund hipster kid
The only time I seriously consider punching a baby is on a plane. But then, it’d probably just cry more.
Running through to airport, I got my flight on time & then, “Oh NO! I forgot Kevin!”
Only ex-girlfriends & people who sit next to me on airplanes know for sure if I snore or not.